


My Favourite Faded Fantasy

by FlightlessAngels



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Additional Characters to be added, M/M, Mature tag for the violence, Of Dreams and Reality, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, slow update, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-13
Updated: 2019-01-13
Packaged: 2019-10-09 09:54:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,835
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17404742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FlightlessAngels/pseuds/FlightlessAngels
Summary: For he was greed for the dream to become reality, for the oblivion was his home.





	My Favourite Faded Fantasy

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by Poe's poem: A Dream, and Monsta X's song Lost in The Dream.

“In visions of the dark night 

I have dreamed of joy departed— 

But a waking dream of life and light 

Hath left me broken-hearted.”

 

It always started with black and accompanying it was the ringing bells of laughter. He never knew where he was or what he was doing but all he could remember was the warmth seeping in deep within his skin and the lightness of his chest as he took in every breath. He would smell the scent of roses and lavenders mixing together and listen as the trees' leaves rustle against each other.   
  
He never quite remember anything, it was all fragments of memories scattered across his head. The blue sky, the waves crashing against the sand or the stars hung so far for him to reach. They looked familiar as he traced them back with each of his memory cells trying their best to work. But what he did remember out of all the pieces laid within his mind was the figure sitting with legs stretched out, a book lying beside and a serene smile painted on the pink lips.   
  
And then he woke up.   
  
  
  
"Taeyong."   
  
The petite lean man turned his head to the door, finding his co-worker standing with hip resting against the frame of the door. His arms were crossed. Taeyong watched him for a second before he focused back on the dirty dishes in the sink. The rubber gloves he wore kept squeaking as it continuously rubbed against a particular spot on the metal tray.   
  
A bit annoyed being disregarded by his colleague, the tall man strutted his way to stand beside Taeyong. His hand reached out and turned off the tap before he took the small wrist - wet gloves be damned and gently told him to sit on a chair. He could see a protest was ready to slip out through the chapped lips but he beat the latter to it.   
  
"Sit. I'll do the rest."   
  
"I can do it, Johnny." He insisted yet still let Johnny pulled the gloves off his hands.   
  
"I know you can, but your eye bags say otherwise."   
  
That had Taeyong locked his mouth, eyes avoiding the firm look Johnny gave him. He played with his fingers, letting the clatter of washed dishes being placed in the rack and Johnny’s soft humming filled the room. His vision then fell on the windows and he could see the dark clouds piling up the sky accompanied with the sound of soft rumbles of thunder. They're going home late today, Taeyong noted.   
  
"Did you visit him?"    
  
The sudden question had him tore his sight back to Johnny who was leaning against the edge of the sink, trays neatly placed on the rack, plastic mugs lining up parallel to them. It took the brunette a moment to process what Johnny just asked, mind clouded with errands that he needed to do along with lists of things they needed to work on before leaving. He knew he was taking awhile to answer, but Johnny patiently waited for him. Johnny had always been patient when it comes to Taeyong.   
  
Finally understood of who the former meant, he dipped his head down in shame. He felt his chest gave a guilty squeeze. What a bad person you are, Lee Taeyong, his mind whispered. He shook his head weakly, not daring to look at the taller in the eyes.    
  
"When are you going to visit him?" His tone was sterner. Taeyong wanted to ball himself up. He didn't answer.   
  
Sighing, Johnny pulled another chair to sit in front of him. He watched as Taeyong flinched at the sound of the wood being scraped together and felt a bit bad for scaring the small guy. It wasn't his fault, Johnny reminded himself but he couldn't deny the slight burn when the other was not giving any positive answer to any of his questions. He patted the soft locks, how long had it been since they had the time and sat down.   
  
"Did you sleep?" At that, Taeyong shook his head.   
  
"I- I barely had ever since," he stopped and swallowed down the lump. "Ever since- you know. It's not fair for him." He finished off.   
  
"Taeyong, you need to stop torturing yourself. How long had it been since you last sleep?"

Johnny was gripping his shoulder at this point and Taeyong couldn't even tell the truth because in all honesty, he too didn't know how long he had not gotten any shut eye. Days? Perhaps weeks? He didn't know. All he knew was that his bones creaked like old doors begging to be oiled, his mind was fled like birds searching for their nests and he was tired - so tired but he couldn't take a rest. He had documents that needed to be reviewed and read, he had children that needed to be supervised. And he had guilt tied around his neck, chaining him with a constant reminder why all of this had happened.   
  
"I don't know. I can't remember." He mumbled quietly, vision blurry and veins pounding.   
  
Johnny's eyebrows furrowed, watching his friend looking lost, fatigue laminating his orbs as he brought one of his knees to his chest. Taeyong had a lot of burden carried on his back and Johnny would have offered him help, hell, both of them knew that the American would do anything just to see his friends smile again. But this was Taeyong. Taeyong who wouldn't dare ask for help, Taeyong that was as stubborn as a mule.    
  
The droplets finally fell when they cleaned up the classroom; chairs and tables arranged where they needed to be, toys kept in the labelled boxes and stationaries stored in the colourful drawers. The floor was swept and vacuumed by the older teachers that had left earlier, claiming they needed to run errands for their own household which left Taeyong, Johnny and a few other female teachers at the nursery.    
  
When the last child was picked up by their parent, bidding Taeyong goodbye with a bow and thanked him, the other female teachers took their leave as they were shooed by Johnny. One of them offered to help a bit more but Johnny told her it was fine, since it was late and it would be dangerous for her to leave later. Taeyong saw the pink dusted on the woman's cheek, meekly agreeing to Johnny and went to pack her bags. The tall lad was a gentleman, what more could Taeyong say.   
  
"Want me to drive you home?" The keys for the nursery jiggled as Johnny shoved them inside his black sling bag. The thought of not having to walk back to the apartment was tempting but Taeyong declined his offer.    
  
"Are you sure?"    
  
"Yeah, I need to drop by the mart and buy some stuff anyways."    
  
Johnny was quiet, contemplating for a moment before he shrugged and patted the brunette's head.    
  
"If you say so, buddy. If you need anything, just call me or Ten. Okay?" When he got a smile and a nod as answer, Johnny mirrored the slight curl on the lips. There was an elephant in the air as they walked to the parking lot, apart from the pitter patter of the rain softly drumming against their shared umbrella. They both knew the additional company but Johnny thought it was better to discuss it another time.   
  
"Taeyong?" He called out when his window was rolled down and Taeyong a few steps away from the small silver car.   
  
The man hummed, waiting for Johnny to continue. "While you're at the town, try and drop by the pharmacy. Ask them if they can help with your insomnia."   
  
"It's not insomnia, Johnny."   
  
"You haven't sleep in days, buddy. Don't tell me that's not insomnia."   
  
Taeyong watched as the car pulled out of the parking lot, waving his hand as he watched the vehicle slowly getting smaller and smaller until it made a turn and left his sight. It was still raining and he felt the cold biting his skin. Taeyong only wore a long sleeve beige sweater and it didn't help him much with the weather. Without wasting time, he made a list in his head of what he needed to buy at the mart with his legs marching through the chilly wet evening. Johnny's last words still rang in his mind and he decided that maybe a little visit to the pharmacy wouldn't be much of a trouble. 

 

The pitter patter became a full blown heavy rain as soon as he stepped into the dimly lit drugstore. A few cars rolled past him, Taeyong barely had enough time to avoid the upcoming splash of the spraying puddle, causing his shoes and the ends of his pants to be wet. On normal days, he would have let a loud curse and give a little gift to the drivers - in other words, his middle fingers, but he was tired and annoyed. So with the last bit of sanity left in him, he dragged his body and groceries through the glassed door.  
  
Taeyong never really went to any pharmacies, usually he had stocks of medicine ready to use in the first aid box. Being a teacher at a nursery and a part-time proof reader never got him much trouble in terms of health, only a few fevers and migraines here and there but that was pretty much it. And the only pharmacy he had been to was the one near the apartment but since he was already in town, he might as well try the ones here for a change.   
  
The store was a bit old, with the ceiling looked worn and outdated. The surroundings were clean, as expected from a drugstore but Taeyong couldn't shake off the eerie feeling of the place giving him. There was something about this place that rubbed him in all the wrong places. It was already late and he didn't want to spend any more time on the stabbing feeling of fear. Might as well get everything done faster and head home, he thought.   
  
There was a young man standing behind the counter, a white coat covering his body and a black t-shirt underneath it. He had raven hair; Taeyong cringed at the state of it. If he were to have a comb, he would have smoothened the midnight strands so the man didn't look much like an evil doctor. He had a bored look plastered on his face, ears plugged with white earphones and Taeyong assumed he must have not heard the teacher's presence for he didn't greet when Taeyong walked in earlier.    
  
Fidgeting from one foot to another, he walked to the counter, not forgetting to place his wet umbrella near the entrance. The pharmacist was still engrossed to the screen of his phone and Taeyong had to knock on the white marble counter when the other still ignored him. The shock look the other man gave him was comical, eyes turning saucers while he almost dropped from the stool he sat on. But Taeyong was getting fidgety, he just wanted this to get done and over with.    
  
"I'm sorry, sir. I didn't realise you came in." His voice was sweet and a bit loud; Taeyong noted how the other looked like a rabbit when he smiled with his teeth on display.    
  
"Maybe if you didn't wear the earphones then you'd hear me cursing at the rain."   
  
The worker gave a sheepish smile, a quiet 'sorry' was given but Taeyong shrugged it off. He was joking after all.    
  
"So, anything that I can help you with?"   
  
Taeyong's eyes wandered around the place. There was a never ending white bottles filled up the shelves and glass cabinets. The sterile smell of pills and herbs filled his senses. He felt a bit dizzy. Tightening his hold onto the groceries' plastic bag, he turned to look at the expectant gaze of the raven head. He sight fell on the nametag pinned on the white coat. A bold 'Doyoung' was stamped on it.    
  
"Yes, actually. I'm having trouble of sleeping these days." Taeyong said finally. He tried to smile but he knew it came off as an awkward one with the way Doyoung giving one back.   
  
"Okay, so what kind of 'trouble' are we talking about, Mr --"    
  
"Lee Taeyong. But please, just call me Taeyong. Well, I kind of haven't sleep for a few days now." Doyoung nodded, pulling up a pen and a notebook he hid under the counter.    
  
"How many days has it been since you last slept?"   
  
"Three, maybe. I'm not very sure." Doyoung nodded and wrote something in the notepad.   
  
"Have you ever been ill before, Taeyong-ssi? Any medical condition that you have before?"   
  
Taeyong paused for a moment and shook his head. The scratching of the pen on the paper continued for a moment.    
  
"Have you been stressed lately? Anything from that's been bothering you from your work place or home?"

 

He stayed quiet, contemplating whether he should be truthful or not. But the penetrating gaze Doyoung gave him eventually made him slowly nodded.  
  
"Can you tell me that thing that made you stayed up at night?" He felt the walls closing in, his chest felt constricted. He shook his head.    
  
"I see."    
  
The raven haired trailed off. He looked back at the notes and back at Taeyong, observing him with his eyes, wide and alert. Taeyong shifted to the side and watched a particular spot near his feet. Maybe he shouldn't have taken Johnny's advice and just went home.   
  
Doyoung then shuffled to the shelves behind him, his fingers tracing the racks as he mumbled the names of the pills to himself. Taeyong tried to play with his phone, opening and closing some apps, eyelids getting heavy but his mind screamed that they were at a public place. It was not a place for him to rest.    
  
The weight of the plastic bag in his hand was getting heavier, he almost let go of it. But the sudden opening the door beside one of the shelves behind the counter startled him, causing him to grip the plastic harder.   
  
A boy, no more older than fourteen stood there with his shirt soaked and hair stuck flat on his forehead. Water dripped down his face as a small puddle surrounded him. He blinked at Taeyong, to which the other blinked confusedly as well before Doyoung screeched at the wet floor and the state of the boy.    
  
"Zhong Chenle! What the hell are you doing here and why are you wet? And for God's sake, I just mopped the floor this morning, you child!"    
  
The man skidded to the boy, pushing him back into the back room and there were a still trail of high pitch screeches and complains bled through the thin walls. Taeyong stood there stiffly, regretting the decision of coming here in the first place. By now, he should have been at his warm house with classical music playing in the background as he immersed himself in the hot water of the bath. He was enticed with the idea of leaving but before he could take a step, Doyoung came back with his hair in much worse state and the sleeves of his coat were folded.   
  
"I'm sorry about that. He's the owner's son, loves to visit me here." Taeyong only nodded at the unnecessary statement and Doyoung pulled out a bottle and placed it between them.   
  
"I think this might help you." He said triumpthly.    
  
Taeyong took the bottle and read the description. His eyes furrowed, skeptical if it was a good idea but Doyoung kept firm with what he could offer.   
  
"Sleeping pills. You said you haven't slept for days and that's harmful to your health. Just take one pill before you sleep and you'll be knocked out in about five minutes. And don't worry, the pill lasts till seven hours - enough time for you to get a proper rest."    
  
With the explanation finished off with a small smile, the doubts flooding in his mind were slowly striked off one by one, leaving him to be convinced by Doyoung. Maybe it wasn't so bad. Considering the alternatives that he had been trying for the past couple of weeks, having a pill to let his mind shut off for the whole night might be a better option. Taeyong then agreed to it and the young pharmacist packed up his purchased and handed it to his customer.    
  
As he was about to leave, the boy from earlier - Chenle, he recalled, came through the door again with hair damp and wet clother replaced with dried ones. Taeyong nodded at the boy, ready to stretch his foot out into thr street with his umbrella halfway through the glassed door when he heard the boy said, "I trust you'll be having a goodnight sleep tonight, Taeyong-ssi."   
  
The young teacher was a bit taken aback but he only smiled and bid his goodbye.

  
  


The small apartment was dimly lit by the lamps near the television and at the corner of the living room. Mountains of papers stood high on the black coffee table, leaving little to no space for the cup of hot coco to settle down. It was still raining, and the cold had bitten his skin to his bones, albeit the heater was turned on and a warm shower was taken prior to his settlement on the cramped leather sofa.

Taeyong sighed internally when the paper was filled with scribbles and marks, amazed by his ability in reading and correcting the document he held between his bony fingers. Had he not been in the proofreading field for so long, he would have torn all the tainted scripts caused by his handy red pen. The clock ticked its seconds and the short hand pointed at the number eleven slowly making its way to twelve. His drink was long turned cold and his joints turned sore from the lack of movement as he had sat for too long.

His eyes settled on the bottle that established its territory at the end of the table. The white bottle glared at him, with the prescription written from Doyoung's squiggly handwriting clear in his sight. “Eat 1 after meal,” it said in black marker. He could feel his eyes getting heavy, yet he knew better that if he didn't take the pill, he would just lay on the bed with his gaze plastered on the ceiling. White noise and guilty whispers will be his company, a common lullaby to him on that too big of a bed for his body, tearing him, fucking his head as dawn creeps between the curtains and morning it will be all over again. It has been that way for far too long, he had known the consequences, he had learnt the pattern too well.

Taking a deep breath, he sat up right and took the bottle in his hand. He knew it would be best if he does this, it'd be best for himself, for _them._ With the lid unsealed, he quickly popped one of the pills in his mouth, having a bit of difficulty with the lack of help from water. When he finally felt the small lump slowly travelling down his throat, he lied himself on the cramped couch, knees pulled in close to his chest as he counted the number of stars in his head. As the number got closer to fifty, he felt his consciousness slipped, and finally, he was asleep.

  
  


_“Hey, do you ever think that whatever world we live in right now is just a depicted reality of what we wanted.”_

_“What do you mean?”_

_“I mean, the world we live in right now, it's not the reality that we thought. Do you ever think of that?”_

_“I… Never thought of it. Why? Do you feel that way?”_

_“No, just curious of what you'd think of it. Plus, if this isn't reality, I would be bummed.”_

_“And why is that, my dear Mr Jung?”_

_“Because I wouldn't have met you.”_

  
  


His breathing was heavy, his chest felt tight, his eyes were wet and his whole body trembled. Taeyong looked around the place, he recognised the telivision, the coffee table and lamps that were lit. He was still in his house. He sat there with his face buried between his knees, the sound of the ticking clock on the wall fought against the constant buzzing in his mind, and little by little, he finally could hear the nearby cars moving by, the rattling fan of the old aircond of his neighbour became much clearer to his hearing.

When he finally calmed down, he glanced to look at the time and it was only a few hours passed since he last checked. Standing up, his feet felt like noodles, but he kept his balance and walked slowly to the kitchen to get a drink. Unknowingly to him, the stacks of sheets and documents were gone from their settlement from the coffee table.

Drinking the cold water from the tap help him to feel a lot fresher. His limbs were still sore due to the short nap on the couch, yet it did gave him some sleep. The vouces from before, they still rang in his mind, like an old tune that he had been accustomed with, a melody of nostalgia that could never be forgotten. And the baritone vouce that once was his lullaby now turned into a cynical nightmare, haunting him to the bottom pit.

As Taeyong turn off the lights and walked out of the kitchen, he noticed the lighted candles and decorated dining table with napkins and dishes set on the dining table. There was a pang of familiarity, yet he couldn't put his finger on it as his eyes traced the glinting silverware. A chocolate cake was left at the right side of the wood and he made his wasy to read what was written on it; eyebrows furrowing at the message when he heard the front door swung upon, as if someone had just barged in.

“Who's th--”

“Hyung, I'm so sorry, the documents had to be checked longer than what I expected and--”

Taeyong could hear his heart drumming like the drums they bang in parades, loud and heavy, deafening his ears as the rest of the sentence was a mere blur to him. Droplets of cold sweat formed on the skin, his body felt hot despite the chill skated down his spine as his eyes plastered at the corner of the room, near the end of the wall to the living. _It couldn't be,_ he thought.

When the dark orbs caught the shadow walking towards the dim room, he felt his knees weakened. _This mustn't happened, it can't be._

There, in front of him, stood Jung Jaehyun.

Jung Jaehyun that he missed dearly.

Jung Jaehyun that was not supposed to be there.

Jung Jaehyun that was declared by the doctors to be in a coma two months ago.

**Author's Note:**

> It's been a while. I promised myself that I wouldn't post other stories than oneshots, but I thought I would challange myself and try to finish this one story. It won't be a long one, only around a few chapters. I'm sorry if you find this odd and underwhelming, just that I'm getting tired of this draft glaring at me whenever I open my document so I thought I'd be less guilty by doing this way. I'll try my best to improve as time goes by. 
> 
> Also, sorry for the typos and grammar. I didn't beta the work ahaks. Thank you for spending your time on this :)
> 
> See you guys on the next part.


End file.
